vivil's Journal

3:49PM

so here it is.

an update.

suck it up folks.

all 3 (?) of you.

nothing much.

i talk to you all every day.

who am i kidding.

i heart lj.

8:48PM

DANIEL.

if you have died in the past 24 hours please let me know.

otherwise, i will need a pair of your undies to give the tracking dogs a real scent of you.

it is almost 9pm. i am still waiting for your call. you are lucky.

actually, i am lying. i am not even ready to go yet.

either way. dial down the center.

as for the rest of you.

i say aideu.

5:49PM

i had an odd dream last night.

colin was in it. weird.

danny. call me when you get off work.

no ones hand fits quite right (other then your own)

7:01PM

so here it is.

i am laying this mad track down.

show at junctions tonite.

tomorrow night ?!

show at junctions on sunday night.

there is some work in there somewhere.

dan. let me know when you are working. i will bring your gift. plaza exchange.

less 2 friends.

so sad.

dear colin.

josh corbett was in subway today.

he may be headed your way.

6:53PM

yesterday. good mood. good friends. then worried for a second. then fixed it.

today. exam. tired. now with the help of saves the day i am beginning to get use to the idea of not studying. phew.

adam is picking me up after he finishes work. how exciting. maybe it will help me forget the fact that 2 of my best friends are leaving tomorrow. i doubt it though.

saying goodbye today was weird. i guess i have never really had to do it before. not that i am really saying goodbye or anything. just for a while. even so. i guess the closest i have ever come to actually saying goodbye was when curtis left to go to toronto. and that was different.

well. this is it. christmas holidays. left to my own thoughts and good reading.

christmas is all about getting drunk and stoned with your friends. ha ha ha.

now. some temporary plans.

finish: life of pi, cool cos, and start stalin.

hang out with: megan, danny, col, et al.

give: gifts, surprises.

that seems good for now.

i wish launch.com worked for me. i want to see saves the day dance. or burt.

11:43AM

i base all my entry readiong around megans. if the top one is hers, and i have already read it, then i know nobody had written. but sometimes...sometimes...i slip up. and i find little jewels embedded in entried that i haven't read. even if they are old i comment on them.

tomorrow is my last exam. maybe then i can sleep. maybe then my house won't smell like a nail polish factory. the worst thing is. it means that i lose 2 close friends to the christmas spirit.

i had a dream that i ran over a dog last night. and the owner flipped out at me. for some reason we had to take the dog to wal mart, where an employee told him that it was not even his dog. jeez.

anyway.
i think i may have to migrate my study elsewhere.

6:12PM

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
threw caution to the wind. for real.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i did not make any to begin with.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
i am sure that someone from highschool did.


4. Did anyone close to you die?
yes.

5. What countries did you visit?
negatory.

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
clarity.

7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
i guess the dec 11th. that was like...2 days ago..but still.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
getting a raise..i don't know.

9. What was your biggest failure?
mun.....in general i guess.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
common cold maybe.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
something for someone else i am sure....probably logans gift...

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
hahaha...i don't know....everyone is amazing lately.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
see above


14. Where did most of your money go?
uhhh...i wish i knew.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
christmas

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
well...freakish maybe?

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
I. happier or sadder? same.
II. thinner or fatter? same.
III. richer or poorer? poorer


18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
making out (thanks for saying it first megan!)


19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
...thinking


20. How will you be spending Christmas?
with friends.

21. How will you be spending New Year's?
ahh..how you say....double kegger?

22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
maybe more intensly.


23. How many one-night stands?
hell no.


24. What was your favourite TV program?
queer as folk. six feet under.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
don't believe so

26. What was the best book you read?
there are like... a million ties.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
A3

28. What did you want and get?
a car

29. What did you want and didn't get?
clean socks.


30. What was your favourite film of this year?
too many.


31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
20...and...maybe nothing...it may have been a week night...

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
a homework machine

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
black?!


34. What kept you sane?
friends?


35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
six feet under....


36. What political issue stirred you the most?
...

37. Who did you miss?
i miss people quickly...and i have not seen anyone today...


38. Who was the best new person that you met?
ab & ab....it is a fair tie

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
give'r...hahaha...that was megans response...and i am not sure how much crack she has smoked...but i am leaving that answer there...i mean...there is no better way to sum it up!

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"i fucked this one up long ago"

2:51PM

you know.

maybe i should forget this semester. forget that i met all these amazing people. forget that i don't care how i do in my exams because i have learned so many other, much more important things. maybe if i forgot how life changing all of this was i would expect less from people. not be disappointed so much. not fuck things up so often. maybe then i would not disappoint so many people. all i can do is warn them.

i try my best. really i do. but i fuck up. often. i am human. i am not a robot, or a machine. human error. believe in it. it happens. sometimes....just once in a while...i slip. and i apologize. but i never promised that it wouldn't happen. i am not invincible. no matter what you think or how you percieve me.

and maybe it is all in how you deal with it. or maybe it is all in how i deal with it. or maybe it is that we don't know how to deal. or maybe that we don't want to.

9:47PM

today.
christmas music and vocm.
danny murphy.
phone calls to friends who didn't want to talk.
phone calls from friends who just wanted something from me.

i keep listening to your song over and over and over. thanks for my new addiction.

i miss you.

7:18PM

someday. it will come to pass.
i will realize that there are people out there.
who are better then you.
maybe then you will realize.
and for the first time regret.

long time.

dear megan.
please call.

dear colin.
love.

dear dan.
lets hang.

i miss all of you.

9:51PM

well kids...
here it is.

life is great.
my friends are great.
no complaints.
i meet new people, and they just keep getting better.

spectacular.

may be doing a production soon...
asm here i come.
oh yeah.

7:56PM

was a pt cruiser honking at me?

8:29PM

YOU HAVE BEEN PLAYING JEOPARDY! WITHOUT ME!

alex i will take world mysteries for $1000

Answer: Megan, Hope, Dan, Steve, Carolyn etc

Question: Who are the worst friends around?

ARG!

7:27PM

7:53PM - jeez.

until 11:30 am today i was walking around with my pants on backwards. seriously. no joke. i am awesome.

friday = show at junctions. it was a lot of fun. i enjoy working door. you do not have to worry about dispersing your time evenly among your friends. they come to you. i really enjoyed hanging out with mark e. he was good company. i wrote profane things across his cheekas. very funny.

sat = supper. went better then planned. everything worked, and all the gals spent some quality time hanging out cooking an amazing feast. much to everyone's disappointment keith did not explode as promised. once again there were too many people from my graduating class there. it was kind of funny though. they were all over the food like white on rice, and i was like...."BACK OFF THE GARLIC BREAD!! YOU ARE NOT INVITED" hahaha...well, i let them have some...even though they were not paying customers.

sunday = timmy's going away dinner. sad but 'good times'..hahah
tally is now at 450,154,126,578,114,112. i love tim! i will miss tim!

just delivered the billy talent tickets, i am in debt, but hey friends are worth it......i guess.

megan and hope stopped to talk to me today, both ladies were looking good!! i almost forgot what they looked like.

i have been think a lot about time lately. in particular, the phrase: 'time changes everything' TIME does not change things, it is just a unit of measure. something to mark the change by.

i have also been thinking about the value of language. to be more specific, the effectiveness of it. i mean it works for things like: 'i need a pen' or 'pass me that emu' but how about the infinitive things we say? like 'i want to be an astronaut when i grow up.' everyone says something like that, some pharse that is supposed to span the ages. i mean how valid are long term statements? how long are they valid for? i think they should come with an expiry date.

may be working on a new production soon. cannot wait.

a lot of things have been great lately. hughie. bearns. new friends. marie claire. lora. it makes things a little easier. erases that tension. but there is still something lingering. i cannot put my finger on it. maybe it is something old that needs fixing. maybe i said something in the past that i do not
mean anymore. ha.

5:49PM - semi

tomorrow will be amazing.
only one class.

I walked to class today with colin (hahah I accidentally typed colon...) and hope. wait. maybe that was yesterday..anyway, it made me happy. i miss those kids. me getting mad at hope, danny making lame jokes, and colin being witty...ahhh.....good times. oh and megan is in there somewhere to... ahahha just kidding....you know you are gold kiddo. just remember all, i make my own schedule...i can take weekends off in a flash...faster then dan takes off his clothes
hahaha...well, when there is an 8 track player with synchronized lights at least. do i smell winter road trip....oh wait...that is supper cooking...hahaha.

i want to meet all these new rad people you guys are raving about....new girlfriends, boyfriends and crushes....i promise i will be civil...well.....i will try...

i hope supper works out saturday night, chris is working so he will have to live with leftovers. i like cooking for him more then anyone else because no matter how hot i make it he still eats it. if anyone else is interested let me know, we may find some excuse to drink afterward.

went out with carter last night. i under estimate that guy. he is an amazing friend. not to mention amazing in bed...am i right ladies? am i right? ahhaha....either way, it was mad fun and it totally helped me kick that sour mood.

mun normally drives me crazy, but today i was able to tolerate it. it was cool to hang out with hughie, even tho it was short lived and he spent the whole time jerking off my arm...it was fun..

we had a sing along today...but it was before 9am so maybe it was more like a howl along. i don't recall how it began, but i was singing private dancer, then carter started with another tina turner song, then i started patricia the stripper by chris de burg and katie sang along with me....someone else was forced to listen to chris de burg at a young age! what a relief! it was funny, i really enjoy katie....she appears all sophisticated, but i know that she is just a big goof ball... I KNOW IT!!

anyway..this is getting lengthy...ruining my rep...

anyone interested in supper let me know....you will have to drop $5...that is the price you pay for my fine dining.

4:47PM - post another

well, so much for doing good this year.
my bet is on me failing big time.

driving to school blows...I cannot wait until october.

my syntax teacher just had a baby, and now all his examples include baby references. so lame.

friday night was the party at alice drive, it was ok. most of my lame-o graduating class was there. i drank. it was no fun.

saturday night was the show at the temple. it was the most enjoyable show (for me) so far this year. that is right, i mean all of 2004. no excitement after. no fun.

it is only monday and i cannot wait for the weekend already, even though it will probably prove to be less fruitful then last weekend. friday night is the show at junctions, that should be fun. hopefully i can make it even though i have to work until 9pm. saturday night i am cooking a feast for the boys, i guess that should be fun.

mun is so dull, and queen's is too far away. especially from the arts building. tomorrow is tuesday. nobody has school on tuesday. colin morris where are you?!!?!?!

7:04PM - sing it

If I told you this was killing me would you stop?

expensive books still make for no homework....espically not on a FRIDAY!!! Waiting for Carter (snicker) to get here, then off to the party. Oh yes. So Co & Orange? Might have to...

4:50PM - 5590059222

Everyone wants to know him
and read his lousy poetry.

MUN = ok so far, skipped a class yesterday without even knowing, my schedule was folded over so I could not see it.
I swear.

I know some people in all my classes.

This weekend looks like it has potential.
Friday = Alice Drive?
Saturday = Show at the temple.

No text books make for light homework.

4:06PM - fix your job

You tell a story like a broken record.

Morgan's was good.
I wish I had been drinking.
I bit reality in the ass.

Arg. School. Soon. But I get to drive. (For a while at least)
Anyone need a ride?! Certain restrictions may apply.

So.
Sunday.
Movie?